Going back to work, in theory, was supposed to renew my sense of purpose—or, at least, give me a little more autonomy and independence away from being a stay-at-home mom. It’s been four full weeks now of employment, and I have to say, I’m ready to retire.
But it is nice to have a paycheck, rather than rely on student loan income. It is a difficult balance, I must say. I don’t know how people do it. Work all day, come home to a messy house, hungry children and a husband. So far, I have not figured out the recipe. Whenever I get some down time I just want to relax. That is usually spent playing Scrabble on Facebook, or just before I turn off the light in bed I indulge in some New Yorker reading (the same article paragraph by paragraph I have been reading for more than a month).
How do people do this? I can see why it is called the grind. I feel like I’m grinding my teeth out of their sockets. I suppose it gets easier, but it is difficult to think of what to cook for dinner at 5 p.m. when there is no food in the house because no one has been able to get to the grocery store in two weeks. OK, I am exaggerating a little bit. But not by much.
For now, I am trying to hold it together. Thinking up a menu for the week. Trying to get the major chores done on Saturday and Sunday. And try to spend some good energy with the kids for the three hours I see them a day. I know that husbands are supposed to be picking up the slack, but mine hasn’t quite been trained to do that yet. So things just don’t get done.
I’ve had advice from other working parents that I can’t do it all, but I am so used to doing it all. Now there’s just more to do.