The Two-State Solution

From Yahoo! Buzz

California: Breaking up is hard to do
California’s budget problems are kind of like the boy who cried “wolf.” Nobody pays attention anymore. Well, hardly anybody. A radical idea that would split California into four distinct states garnered some attention on the Buzz. Commenters chimed in with their thoughts. Some even suggested names including Calidormia (for the “bedroom communities and burbs all across the state”) and Califarmia (for the huge agricultural regions). The commenter notes that Calinormia could make for a nice state, but, alas, normal doesn’t exist out west. Experts argue that the proposal doesn’t have a chance of working, but we say “never say never.” This is the state the elected Conan the Destroyer, after all.


Here’s my two cents:

Make the Bay Area its own state. Include Santa Clara, San Mateo, San Francisco, Alameda, Contra Costa, Marin, Sonoma and Mendocino counties (maybe Santa Cruz, too). Erect a 20-foot wall around this new state and let no one in or out without adequate identification.california_north_90


If cost of living were not an issue, this region would create a utopian state. You’ve got redwoods (check), beaches (check), a world-class city (check), and international airport (check), good art, theater and music (check), interesting, diverse people (check), a solid economy (check), public transportation (check), mountains (check), Sea Ranch (check), rain and sunshine (check), good biking (check)…I could go on for about three more pages. Most important, however, I think is the progressive ideology that permeates these counties.

A new state would most likely have universal, singer-payer health care, better public transportation, tighter regulations on air and water pollution, more community gardens, more outdoor music festivals, free public Wi-Fi, an ample amount of newspapers and publications and a high literacy rate. The schools would also be top-notch and well funded.

I would move to this new state in a heartbeat. Now all we need is a name.

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  1. W00tz! I already live here. And I totally agree; Orange County has nothing in common with us and I don’t want the taint of it in my state anymore. LOL

    I don’t know what to call it either, though.

    And the only reason the Governator got elected was because there were over 100 candidates that year and he was the one name that everybody knew, so that’s who they all voted for.

    Except for me. I voted for Larry Flynt. Yeah, he’s a pornographer, but he’s HONEST about it. And he stood up to the Feds already so we know he’s not afraid of The Man.

  2. I saw your headline on the rss feed and thought this post would be about the Middle East, but clearly divisions occur at home, too. I have a question and then a comment. Question: what kind of ID would be acceptable for admission to Bay state? How about a doobie? And comment: I don’t think it’s fair to make singers pay for health care for everyone else. Maybe just the wealthiest singers.


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